809
by darkness
I made it through 2/3 of Fifty Shades of Grey today. It has all the hallmarks of a Lifetime woman in distress tv movie. If I hadn't known already where it was going I would have assumed by the second act of the film Christian would be cutting her off from her friends, controlling her life and smacking her around a bit. Which is essentially what happened really, so yeah, a lifetime tv movie. In addition to sharing plot elements from them, it also shares awful acting and horribly written dialog. As has been mentioned in most reviews of the film there is zero chemistry between the two leads. Also they read their lines as if they're half asleep. As an extra bonus the ice cube sex scene from 9 1/2 weeks is ripped off almost shot for shot, except the director somehow manages to make it about as erotic as reading out of the phone book. If you're looking for steamy sex there's none to be found here. I've seen better sex scenes in high school biology films. Certainly don't look to it for an accurate representation of a bdsm lifestyle. Christian Grey is the kind of wanna-be dom people put warnings out about on fetlife. This film deserves every negative review and thing you've heard about it, and then some.
Just cut them up like regular chickens